A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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The 13th Amendment...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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I know a black girl named beyonca.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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