What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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How many dislikes can this get?

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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I'm gay. No homo.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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