What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How did the boy fly? he had wings.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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knock, knock. come in.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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Ouch.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Ted Haggard.

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what did the women say when she found out that superman was clark kent. i know that you are superman clark kent.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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24

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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