How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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for keeps?

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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