WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Lebron James vs. Kobe Bryant

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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