What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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