Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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conrad profit

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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a

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women's rights.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

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why?

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Lebron James vs. Kobe Bryant

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

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Take my wife- to the store.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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