roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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So. The gays. ...

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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