Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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What is the difference between black people and HIV? They are of a specific ethnicity whom which share specific ideals and background; whilst the other is a virus contracted from sexual intercourse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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what do a jew homosexual and a latino all have in common? human dignity.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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