There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Who is a knob? ross d

thumb_up thumb_down +28

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A. Hey.. B. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops