You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

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Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Welcome To Facebook

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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LOL May Wong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops