Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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47

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

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So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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