Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Doorbell salesman.

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Penis.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Type 2 diabetics

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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