Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

Get in the Batmobile.

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

Anti jokes gives me cold sores

Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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