Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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Heartlight

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Derpy Hooves is retarded.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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women have rights

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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25

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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