How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I'm banging your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops