When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Smart Blondes

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Doorbell salesman.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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That didn't hurt.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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