Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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My butt!!!!

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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