Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Sam alexander is also r8 g4y

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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Women's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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