Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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