Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Blind people can't read this.

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops