If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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