lyren is a big meanyhead

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

:O + :P = 69

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Cleveland winning something

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops