Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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