A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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poop

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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:O + :P = 69

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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