Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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