How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dear Board of education, so are we.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a black guy walks into a fast food place.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops