A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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This is not a joke.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out the tree? Hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out the tree? Peer pressure

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops