What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops