Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Murder me once, shame on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops