Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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sometimes josh roberts sees how many things he can get in his bumhole befor is starts to bleed.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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Blind people can't read this.

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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kyle dosnt eat dick...

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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