What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Comedy.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

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A jew go out of a bar

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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