What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +128

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

thumb_up thumb_down -110

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +83

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Passing by

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

thumb_up thumb_down -42

7>6

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops