A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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adam shagged katie lololol

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What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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69

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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