What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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