A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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