Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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