A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What's a small person? A midget

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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Nobody cares.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops