how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

kyle dosnt eat dick...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats water and frozen? an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

thumb_up thumb_down -34

sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops