Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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hi michael

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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Are you a human?

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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