A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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