Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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Nobody cares.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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