I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops