why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops