If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Hey, look under there! Under what?

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

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Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

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Niki Minaj's ass

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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