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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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