Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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