I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

A jew go out of a bar

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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