Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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