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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Wheelchair high jump

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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This is not a joke.

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A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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anti jokes

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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what's red and blue? your heart

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops