Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

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What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops