"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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what did the guy who had unsafe sex get? A good time

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

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Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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