What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dear Board of education, so are we.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hashtag

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My butt!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops