What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Betty Whites ALIVE?

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Obamacare haters

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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